Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
