I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
