This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
why is half of my head shaved?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
