i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
