Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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