He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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