dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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