you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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