we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
