According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
ok first of all what the fuck
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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