He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
