the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize