Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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