you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
They have beer where we have blood.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize