Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
