I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize