All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
