the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do herpes really smell.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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