It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
