I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
