i need an iv and a liver transplant
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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