omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Come on in and take your pants off
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