i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
