You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
