I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
