His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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