proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Enjoy the penises
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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