That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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