I looked at my own cervix.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
