What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
