Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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