btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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