his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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