Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize