A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
