So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
