hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
