Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
