I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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