a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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