i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
