so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
