My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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