i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize