dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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