Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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