i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
