Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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