there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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