You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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