Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
