i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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