Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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