my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize