your room smells of hookers.
And success
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
