woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
