I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
