carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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